28. Rape

The following are suggestions for what to do when confronted with acquaintance rape

  • STAY CALM
  • Turn the inner voice into a strong voice. TRUST YOUR FEELINGS.
  • Appraise your situation, then ACT QUICKLY. Evaluate how much danger you’re in, and act accordingly as soon as possible.
  • Try to GET AWAY
  • YELL FOR HELP
  • When necessary, ACT FORCAREFULLY. Realize that your fighting back might also cause him to become violent.
  • BUY TIME WITH TALK. Stall your attacker with conversation. Try flattery. When s/he thinks he no longer needs to use force, s/he may ease up on his guard. That’s a good time to make a break for the door.
  • DESTROY THE IDEA OF A “SEDUCTION”. Tell your attacker that you have a sexual transmitted disease, have your period, you’re pregnant. Do physical things that are turn off: urinate on the floor, pick your nose, belch, pass gas, vomit.
  • REMEMBER THAT GIVING IN IS NOT CONSENT!!!

Giving in is not something to be ashamed of. You may be threatened. S/he may be physically violent. S/he may terrify you that you cannot respond effectively. Going along with him/her may be the only smart thing to do. Giving in may be a survival strategy.

Do not berate yourself that you “let” the rape happen. A rape-threatening situation is also a life-threatening situation. Your only responsibility as a victim is to yourself. You do not need to sustain injury or death to “prove” you were raped. Stay alive.

Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire & Date Rape Prevention

Date Rape Prevention

The following is a questionnaire on sexual assertiveness as well as tips for preventing date rape.

All people have the right to:

  1. Make their own decision regarding intercourse or other sexual activity regardless of their partner’s wishes.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Use or not use birth control regardless of their partner’s wishes.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their partner when they want to make love.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their partner they don’t want to make love

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their partner they won’t have intercourse without birth control.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their partner they want to make love differently.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Masturbate to orgasm

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their partner they are being too rough.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their partner they want to be hugged or cuddled without sex.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Tell their relative they’re uncomfortable being hugged or kissed in certain ways.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Ask their partner if they have been examined for S.T.D.’s

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Stop foreplay at any time, including the point of intercourse.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always

  1. Refuse to have intercourse even though they may have had sex with their partner before enjoyed it.

[ ] Never

[ ] Sometimes

[ ] Always