The following provides warning signs to look for in a potentially violent relationship.
Pay attention to these cues when you are getting to know someone:
- Emotionally abuses you (insults, belittling comments, ignoring you, acting sulky or angry when you initiate an action or idea).
- Tells you who you may be friends with, how you should dress, or tries to control other elements of your life or relationship.
- Talks negatively about your gender in general.
- Gets jealous when there is no reason.
- Drink heavily, uses drugs, or tries to get you drunk.
- Berates you for not wanting to get drunk, get high, have sex, or go with him/her to an isolated or personal place.
- Refuses to let you share any of the expenses of a date and gets angry when you offer to pay.
- Is physically violent to you or others, even if it’s “just” grabbing and pushing to get his/her way.
- Acts in an intimidating way toward you by invading your “personal space” (sits too close, speaks as if she/he knows you much better than he does, touches you when you tell him/her not to).
- Is unable to handle sexual and emotional frustrations without becoming angry.
- Does not view you as an equal for any reason.
- Thinks poorly of him/herself and guards his/her self-confidence by acting tough or mean.
- Goes through extreme highs and lows, is kind one minute and cruel the next.
- Is angry and threatening to the extent that you have changed your life so as not to anger him/her.